Monday, November 12, 2007

Needing More..

I take a step outside myself often. I look and wonder. Is this where I am suppose to be? Doing this? Being a stay at home mom, managing a apartment complex? I don't feel 'right'. What I really want to be doing is not feasible at this time. I want and need to do humanitarian work. I can't really do this when I have young children. When they grow older I made a promise to myself to finally do something for me. I want to go on the Heifer Study Tours..I want to travel to either Kenya or Honduras. I want to help people. I want to get the training and learn sustainable agriculture and pass it on to those who so desperately need it for achieving self-reliance. I want to be there while helping build shelter for those orphaned children in Uganda who's parents have passed from Aids. This to me is the meaning of life. Helping. Doing what I can. We are so privileged in America..the country of plenty. Everyday we take the simplest things for granted. Like the basic nourishment of life. Food. I can do nothing but weep as I write this because it is so dear to me and its all I want. Ultimately I want my children involved but obviously they are too young. When they are older I would want nothing more than for all of us to be apart of a bigger picture and help..feed the world.
Everyone gets in the mode, especially during the holidays, of thinking of all the things they 'want'
for Christmastime. Obviously me included..I could go on and on of the items I would fancy that I think would my my life better..new knife set, a mixer, hell even a composter would be awesome..throw in a set of organic towels and you'd have one happy lady. Right? Not really. I think I would be happy. But ultimately I would not, no matter how much stuff one gets, there is always more, its not good enough. The Dali Llama put it so eloquently when he said in a speech...'Those who are poor are happier than the rich. The poor have nothing to lose. The rich, well they have everything to loose and keep wanting more and more. The poor only want what is needed to get by.' In India, the most poverty stricken country in the world, there is a plethora of poor with smiles on their face and warmth gleaming from their eyes. I guess they realize that only inner peace lasts, all else is meaningless. In the West we are materially blessed, and spiritually lost.

3 comments:

B said...

very well said. i know you'll do great things some day...you're doing great things now, though, too. you're raising wonderful children. so don't feel so lost, you're still doing good :)

lola coca-cola said...

I happen to think that raising conscious, mindful, peaceful children is the best humanitarian work you can do. It ensures that the work will continue.

And since I couldn't figure out how to email you back about the dancing, no, you don't have to bring a partner, it is expected that you will dance with different people all night and you will be asked to dance. Please feel free to ask more questions--there is usually a half hour instruction before every dance.

B said...

yay! i see you have readers :-D

anyway, thanks for the belly-rubbing (buddha). it's much appreciated. i hope my food really turns out to be a feast fit for kings. i've already had two hiccups, and all i've done is mix the cake batter.

i forgot to leave the butter out to soften, so i've just spent the last two hours waiting for that to happen. and then, the recipe called for 2oz. of red food coloring. i didn't realize you only got 1 oz. in each bottle. i mean, i guess it's too hard to read the label LOL so it might be pink velvet cake, not red. HAHA

and the batter was stiff. i hope that's how it's supposed to be.

oh well, we'll see.

anyway, thanks for the positive thoughts! :)