Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Universal Signs...

Something is wrong. Or so I think.
Lately it seems like I am totally falling apart..my warranty is up.
First ..but still awhile ago I broke my ankle..
next up on the roster...broken finger...
One day later...sprain my wrist...
Sunday.. my c-section scar is bleeding...!!!
WTF??
Its been almost 4 years ..Sunday after a shower, I get out to dress and feel some pain and I look at my incision and its red, raw-ish and bleeding..not heavily..but there is some blood on it. And its right where the staples were. you can see where every single one was placed because its red and raised. I started to freak of course and then came the waterworks. I was sobbing like a baby and it felt like my guts were going to fall on my feet. Believe that's a freaky feeling.
And not only was the pain on the skin but inside too.
That was on Sunday afternoon..then Sunday night around 9ish I felt pain in my neck . I put my fingers up under my jaw and felt a hard, painful,round thing just below my left ear. Its smaller than the normal swollen glands that you get when you're ill, and also its higher up and it hurts like a sunavabitch to boot.
I normally don't go to the doctor...hence the broken finger saga..that I just self medicated..
but shit..this? What the hell would I do for this..?? No herb or potion I concoct is going to help this.
Needless to say I am off to Kaiser.
I feel like crap and I am insanely bloated I bet a finger prick would pop and deflate my gut.
I take all this crap as some sort of universal sign that I need to put myself on a priority list. Kids have always been first..but what good am I if I am broken? I need to take better care of myself. I am so picky and demand the kids to eat healthy and take their mineral/herbal supplements but I need to take my own advice..considering I have been living on coffee, vodka and vicadin. What a hypocrite I am. Shame on me.

2 comments:

Alice said...

Oh girl! Definitely get to the Dr. I CAN'T BELIEVE your c-section scar hasn't completely healed. Yowza! I'd definitely check that out while you're there.

Go take care of yourself! Peace.

Alice said...

OK - I hope that last comment didn't come off harsh. It wasn't supposed to be harsh. More loving really. Smooches!