Saturday, July 12, 2008

Date Day..gone bad..

Today Mary..aka 'food lady' was so kind to babysit the children so hubs and I could go to the movies..and grocery shopping..alone..with no kids..whining and complaining the whole time..and throwing random stuff in the cart while we're not looking..and knocking shit off the end cap and running away from us and begging for junk food. Ahhh pure bliss to shop without kids. :)
I made her up some Italian pasta for the kids and her to eat for lunch. A pitcher of lemon ice tea and she was happy as a clam. Little did she know what was in store for her, poor little ol' lady.



The movie was good..not great, but good..Red is totally rad and I would love to have a drink with this fellow..he is just complete awesomeness. Everyone else kinda sucked..but Hell Boy rocks my world..whats not to love?

After the flick I phone home to see if the babysitter was still alive and kicking. Sure enough Lily answered and I knew something was wrong. I could tell by her voice. mothers intuition I suppose. here is the following conversation:

Me: Hi Honey hows it going babe?

Lily: Sigh..ehh its ok

Me : Whats the matter?

Lily: Nuttin'

Me: Dear god, is Mary OK? Where the f*ck is Jack?

Lily: Ma, please come home. Jack is so freakin' bad.

Me: (whispering to hubs..all is well, let's go get a drink..the kids are fine)...

Damn it..
We power shop at Albertsons. The whole time all I could think is I better enjoy this as I will never have a babysitter again. We are so f'ing screwed.

Upon entering the house with groceries in tow..Mary is on the couch looking sorta out of it..Lily is all sweaty..and Jack..Ahh that boy..Jack has that 'didn't mean to do it look' glazing over his whole face. His pants weren't pulled up and his undies were sticking out. Just looking at that kid, you'd know he fucked up..BIG time. He immediately walked to his room because he knows that where I would be sending him.

Apparently his listening skills diminished while we were away and he grew horns he was his own version of Hell Boy..How ironic.

Lily embraced me like never before and muttered " Thank god you are home".

After spending about 45 minutes on his bed..I told him to come forth and face the wrath of Mom. I let into him, telling him I was so disappointed in him and how I expected more and blah blah blah...and when all said and done , he says " OK now can I have a cookie?"

Eventually he konked out after torturing the babysitter..see here's the proof..

Sigh..these kids..

Today is my turn for cocktails..Jack is currently in his room drawing a picture for Mary and Justin in the kitchen whipping me up a Vodka Tonic...

Any volunteers to babysit? Anyone?

I am willing to leave my kids with total strangers at this point..because I know it will be a long good while until Justin and I go out..ALONE again.






7 comments:

Amy said...

That Italian Pasta looks delish!
Kids.....I don't know what else to say, but I hate'em....LOL!!

Alice said...

Come on and leave him with me! Or you may not want to because I take the liberty of correcting the flip little mouths of my kid's friends when they demand food.

"I want a snack."

"Try that again."

"I want a snack."

"Well you're gonna be wanting a LONG time unless I hear 'please'"

I pretty much also let them know that I WILL put them in timeout at my house. I'm a bitchy mom, what can I say.

krysta said...

What did that kid do?

Kelly said...

Krysta..lets just say I think he scared Mary away. He told her no repeatedly...completely ignored the poor woman, and I think he threw food at her too..oh and refused to bring his scooter inside and she had to go out and clean up after him. I am sure there was more..but she was nice and didn't want him to get into too much trouble..haha

Sue Wilkey said...

LOL- That's when you gotta throw the sitter an extra 20 to get her to come back. It's all about the greenbacks. :)

Aubrey said...

I just came across your blog thru Cheaper Than Therapy.
I read this and had flashbacks to how terrible my 2 year old was while out shopping with my Hubby & I!! Thankfully, we have a built in babysitter with our 15 yo otherwise, I'm sure we'd have a hard time getting someone in to watch him!!

Connie said...

Next time tell her she can drink while she tends to the kids!