Once again, I am at a loss. I am so freaking bored outta my head its pathetic. Justin is so creative, he makes up games for the kids to play. Why can't I do that? I did some schooling with Jack earlier. That lasted about 20 minutes.
It seems I am the nurturing one and Justin is the fun, entertaining one. He plays action figures with Jack and makes up silly stories for them to act out. Same with Lily and her Bratz dolls. I can never think of anything. I would rather teach Lily how to cook or something. That's totally selfish, because that's what I love to do. I suck at video games, which Lily is into. Shes currently playing Zelda, Twilight Princess on the game cube..and also The Sims on her pc.
I know this sounds like a pity party, but I think they think I am so boring. When Justin comes home they are so excited and jump all over him.
I want to go somewhere and do something, but hes pooped from work and just wants to stay home and play with the kids. I am going stir crazy in the house.
I know there are far more important things in the world to think and worry about, then this petty bullshit. I have been getting so mad and irritated over things lately. Just for the dumbest things. The kids..just being kids..making huge messes..laughing and throwing food (well that one is mostly Jack). I guess I am just getting burnt out. I am sick of cleaning up..I am sick of making healthy,organic food and a). someone doesn't like it, or b). someone takes one bite, says he's full and throws it away.
I really just need to lighten up, enjoy this time with my babies..they are growing so quick I feel like I am missing it because I am always getting mad and not embracing this wonderful time, aka as childhood. I need to stop the worry, the anxiety. I am so worried that one of them will get sick, or get hurt. Its almost an obsession. Its ridiculous. I worry they are going to throw up or catch some weird disease..which I know is my own weirdness, because I am a totally hypochondriac..also I think I have a slight case of Emetophobia. Perhaps something triggered that in my childhood, who knows. How do I get over that?
Well at any rate her some pictures of our day. Lily on the phone of course and Jack getting dirty, then getting clean. Exciting I know
4 comments:
i know how it feels. for a while (and still a little) adrien would squeal with excitement when andi would get home from work. he never does that for me. we went to a nascar race one saturday and left him with andi's mom. he was sitting on her lap when we returned. i walked in the door and he stayed put and just sort of smiled. daddy walked in and he squealed with so much excitement. i felt a little underrated. but it happens. i think it's just because the kids aren't with dad all day -- ya know?
so anyway, i am still spotting today. i'm cramping slightly too, but i mean, nothing out of the norm for pregnancy cramps which i did have with adrien (i think). although, i have a high pain tolerance and couldn't feel my labor contractions until 6cm and that was with pitocin. so who knows. my body is weird. i did get some bday money in the mail from my dad today, so that's our saving grace. it just sucks that i can't find out what's going on for sure until monday. andi took off tomorrow, but still. i don't have the $40 copay to shell out. not after my hypochondriac rash visit last week. ok i'm writing too much.
and btw, my name is bryany. i never thought about the fact i just have "b". i did that for in case anyone in my mommy group found my blog (unlikely) but i didn't want them to be able to PROVE it was me gossiping about them LOL
haha thats funny. How often do you meet in your mommy group? I really want to find one, that would be great..but i have found a few mama's through here,(including you) that I can totally relate to which is nice.
I can't believe your co pay is $40, whats this world coming too?
Sheesh...I think ours is $15, we have Kaiser. I am just curious, how did you find my blog? How does that work anyway?
IS it still really hot there? Its been pretty mild here..so far..I am still dreading the upcoming 'death weather' that I know we'll have. Last July we went to a kid bday party. Gosh it was insanely hot. Lily actually cried because she didn't want to get out of the a/c car. the party was outside in the backyard. The poor wife had the wonderful duty of bbq'ing all the food, poor thing. The thermometer read 113 degrees and that was in the shade! We camped in the living room for about a week in front of the ac. We brought the matress in from the bedroom. The kids loved it, it was like 'camping' to them. We'll probaby buy an air matress this time, as bringing in that huge matress now from our new bed(family size from Ikea) is a major pain in the ass. Ok, now I'm rambling.
Btw..did you watch Hell's Kitchen Monday? in my humble opinion they voted off the wrong guy..it shoulda been Josh..is that his name?
I didn't catch Hell's Kitchen this week. :( I think I was watching something else...don't know what though.
It's just now really starting to get hot here. It was 97 the day before last (the day I talked about going for a walk in the neighborhood in my blog) -- if you read that one. They announced on the news today that today was the official start of the hottest part of the summer here. last year we had 40 consecutive days of three digit temperatures. this day last year would have been the 5th day in a row (with 35 more left to go).
...and our copay is only $40 for specialists, which for some reason they consider and OBGYN to be. once my prenatal starts i get free visits though. but i'm not scheduled for the first prenatal until the 26th (now moved to the 23rd). so technically i'd still have a copay if i went tomorrow. We have blue cross blue shield -- ironically that's the company andi just interviewed with.
OH and to help you find other moms, we just had a girl move here from san diego. i asked her about groups (for you) and she recommended "san diego moms" on meetup.com. she says there are a ton of them. she used to be an organizer before she left. our mom group meets very often...i think we have nearly 20 events scheduled already this month. i do not attend all of them, of course. they also are starting a home preschool program for the kids age 2-4 and they'll switch mommy teachers each week and stick to a certain curriculum (which they voted on the book for the curricula last week). i like my group, i guess.
i found your blog randomly. i was bloghopping one day and kept pushing the "next blog" button and ran into it and started reading. and there ya go! i was hooked haha. it seemed like you were a lot like me i guess. so i was into it.
oh and you can email me if you want so we don't have to keep rambling on here. bryanyd@hotmail.com or on yahoo messenger brybrynewland.
ttyl. stay cool! i'll let you know how everything pans out.
thanks a lot, btw.
thats funny, I was going to suggest that we email, because I have been taking up so much space on your comment section! my email is jkandl@cox.net :)
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